Spring Of ’69

here is a picture from my kindergarten. spring of 1969 if i am not mistaken

good education system

israel is high on its spirits.

1969 גן יחיאלה, רמת השרון

met gil eshet last night.

first time in about 35 years. he is on the second row from the top, second from right.

it was delightful

what you see are the same eyes, and the same smile on the edge of the lips. gil was always looking for a twist, doing something on the wild side, and with a smile.

it was so beautiful for me.

to be with a person who is so highly rooted in my early memories; a friend from age 3-12, and one class above.

and have a discussion with a deep chronological perspective but only early, fragile  intimacy.

interesting.

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero

Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future

zimmer in the north

it’s summer. hot. boy it’s hot.

time to be together. ‘vacances’;  not high-end.

mid-end, mid-east, mid-life,  vacances . the whole family bar one. and friends. 6 adults and 10 kids. a few quiet days. and cool if possible.

air condition and shade.

together. north. zimmer.

___________________

its morning. i wake up last.

breakfast is wonderful. omelet. salad. fresh bread and jam.

the pressure is building up; make sure the salad juices do not touch the omelet.

am i still not grown-up? by now i better realize there are some things i got to have a certain way:

coffee. fresh coffee.  my day has not started with out a cup of good coffee.

___________________

most of the kids are ready for the pool. in  swimsuits.

mothers are starting the ritual of sun tan lotion. sentences are shorter. patience is smaller. a kid is crying.

the pressure is building up;  ‘נו כבר’  to the pool

___________________

we made it to the pool

noise. i do not like israeli public spaces full of noise. but the noise here is good noise.

everyone stuffed together. trying to draw imaginary territories. where to lay down the towels?

is there room for the ‘מחצלת’ ? (what is the word for them in english? much more than ‘mat’.  i think there is a reason why they are so popular here these days. they grab a lot of land.  real quickly and clearly, and the family and all strangers know that the territory is marked. even if the kids in the mat-next-grass  will step over the edge of our own mat. they are educated and know not to step on their own mat.  they are considerate and step on our own mat in a de-militarized zone; the ceremonial 20 cm close to the edge)

we israelis are good at it. making rooms for mats.

a country with no borders. a country with no limits. looking for markers, looking for territory to call our own. with no challenges.

the lady who took my chair is claiming i did not use it. ‘שלך מהבית?’,

i give up. unhappy about the lost chair, but happy she is not able to piss me off

___________________

it is time for fun.

and we are having fun

water. jumping. no-jumping. megaphone.

the lifeguard proves his authority; important in a country with no limits

sun. sun. sun. water.

in the water. out of water.

the pressure is building up; i need to urinate.

in the pool? no-way. i would rather do it מהמקפצה . and even i try to be more proper than that.

it it time to march to the public toilet. we have come a long way in the last few decades with public toilets. you would not consider using them in the past. but today, i am not afraid.  about 10m away from the toilets it is noticeable. not the smell, that comes later, but the mud on the tiles. i am barefoot. damn. should have brought the flippers. what’s next? how to proceed? a real dilemma. i am able to make it within 2 meters from the toilet on my toes. but i give up.

i find a tree and water it. saving our dry country some water. hey, and making it more green.

still our ‘public space’ is not social. not minded to ‘together’. not enough respect for the other. not enough respect for the ‘next’. i am afraid that includes me.

sun-tan lotion.boy it’s hot.

some water polo with the kids.

total pleasure.

kids climbing all over me.

laughter, fighting for the ball.

even the little ones get to score goals.

and more laughter.

people giggle and smile like they have not for a long time.

priceless

___________________

its night time.

little kids are a sleep. the teenagers are out at night. it is time to teach them poker

it is fun to teach and see how quickly they learn. smart

a few turns to try it out and then its time for the chips, the bluffs, the strategy

each kids displays in a different way a side of their personality that was not evident previously

their eyes move in different directions. a hidden smile. a stern attempt at poker face.

in a few years they will all be soldiers.

serving with others for others.

live

i have a resolution and a recommendation:

for increased happiness in life, i have a few wishes. some i guess are fantasies that are best left unotuched.

others are totally achievable and i think widely applicable to most of us

so here is one of hopefully a longer list

go see a live musical performance once a month

the verbs are listen, watch, enjoy, open your heart.

the power of music is huge.

and that’s coming from a guy is quite talented, allbeit not at all in music.

it is great that you can greatly enjoy something you are not good at

enough about me

now it is about you

live music

once a month….

when was the last time you did something for the first time?

today is my birthday. 36 years old. depending on how you count

not a simple day. seems like a forced celbration. a bit like new years eve.

i prefer to stop and think about what has been achieved, what requries change.

and time to execute on some general rules for hapiness:

when was the last time you did something for the first time?

today, i ate insects

http://www.slideshare.net/TEDxAmsterdam/marcel-dicke-at-tedx-amsterdam-why-not-eat-insects

they are similar to shrimps which are considered by many as a delicacy

they are carbon effecient (the amount of energy that it takes to produce them is very small compared to  meat.

in many parts of the world they are popular

and it is always fun to eat something new. though i must say i am less open to that that i would like to be

my favorite foods are still:

a good pizza and a good schnitzel

just like when i was 12 years old

it doesn’t interest me

spent the weekend with Limor in NYC

now, my lover is gone and i am alone. again.

the shopping highlight of the weekend was anthropologie

irit my sister loves it; Anat, Danny’s wife wants it, and apparently, as i found out this weekend, Limor needs it.

as is common in such cases, i spent too much time (and money) in several of the brand’s stores

they are wonderful. clothing (for women), stuff for home, shoes, and more

some funny stories too. but more on that later.

anyhow, as a guy who spends hours in girls’ stores, trying to help in decision making, after a while, you are saturated.

was hoping they would provide free espresso for guys. nop.

but then, there is the savior. not emails, but books. available on premise.

this is where you get a chance to find out about stuff you probably would not otherwise.

here is one of my discoveries.

hope you enjoy it as much as i do

________________________

the invitation

by oriah

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments

the road from slavery to freedom

a great holiday is coming. hag sameach. passover. what a misnomer. you can not just pass-over the subject of the path from confinement to liberty, from slavery to … is freedom the word? i was hoping salvation, but no, freedom is a good fit.

( btw tried to find a picture for freedom. this is what google images gives you. scary)

but this is the photo i choose

מעבדות לחרות

i was trying to think what does  it really mean to go from bondage and servitude to freedom. the idea was not easy for me. i decided the steve jobs captures the idea quite nicely:

“Your time is limited,

so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.

Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

– Steve Jobs

if you have not seen SJ’s stanford’s graduation speech back in 2005, please do so now. before the holiday. it is a bit long, but worth your time. you will enter the holiday a different person; one in charge of your destiny.

i was trying to see if the word salvation can replace freedom.( it is a better play on letters with slavery) and decided it is not appropriate. below is wikipedia’s explanation. in a nutshell, it has too much to do with sins and after life. (גדול עלי).

since this is the holiday of freedom, i thought it is also appropriate to mention one of the greatest documents i have ever read. the US Constitution and its declaration of independence. its firsts real sentance (other than we the gathered here….) states:

We hold these truths to be self-evident,

• that all men are created equal,
• that they are endowed … with certain unalienable Rights.
• that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

i like it a lot. i think pesach is the holiday of equality. i also like the fact that it does not say we have the right to be happy, but the pursuit of Happiness

p.s.

salvation

In religion, salvation is the concept that God or other Higher Power, as part of Divine Providence, saves humanity from spiritual death or Eternal Damnation by providing for them an eternal life (cf. afterlife). The world’s religions agree that humanity needs salvation from its present condition. However, they hold irreconcilable positions on what it means from an eternal perspective to become saved, the actual way to get saved, and the resources needed to attain salvation.

The theological study of salvation is called soteriology. It covers the means by which salvation is effected or achieved, and its results. Salvation may also be called “deliverance” or “redemption” from sin and its effects.

Some religions claim that salvation can be attained by using only inner human resources such as meditation, accumulation of wisdom, asceticism, rituals, or good deeds. Other religions teach that humans can be saved only through the grace granted by an external personal agent (God, a bodhisattva, an avatar, etc.) One’s duty is to recognize the impossibility of being saved by one’s own efforts, and therefore accept grace unconditionally.[1

Bronze anniversary

wednesday night was big.

Carmel graduated from her army course. that’s topic for another post. but let me tell you, i was proud

roger junk Bronze Anniversary

but also, Wednesday night was Limor and mine bronze anniversary. that’s 19 years. and 4 kids.3 cats and a dog.

wow

unbelievable. we have done some great things together. responded in some hard moments as a team. even if at times i was far away on some seemingly crucially important business trip. god bless her for keeping up with me and my nonsense.

of greater interest to me is not the fact that i first saw her in mid February. in Eran Karoly’s birthday on a Friday night. i have great memories of that evening. so, this last February we started a countdown to the day  we met 20 years ago. twenty years!!!

10 days

9, 8 ,7

4 days to go i told Limor that i was thinking about it and found out it was 21 years ago

now that is very Limor+Adi

it also means that last year. when it was really 20, we passed it by without noticing…

dis-illusioned by happiness

People who are medically depressed have a clearer view of matters

the rest of us are just way too optimistic.

“People in a positive mood generally rely more on their own thoughts and preferences, and pay less attention to the outside world and social norms,” says Forgas.

heard about Forgas new research via  Max, my brother in law, from  Eugene’s blog:

…negative moods can improve the detection of deception

• reduce judgmental errors (Forgas, 1998),
• improve eyewitness accuracy (Forgas, Vargas, & Laham, 2005),
• and improve interpersonal communication strategies (Forgas, 2007).
• The present experiments confirm this pattern by demonstrating that mild negative moods also increase fairness and sensitivity to the needs of others.

read all about it in the new scientist

7 steps to hapiness

wish i could follow. look here

sounds simple, yet tough

you choose to be happy, or not

it is entirely your choice

yeh, sure

p.s. here are 10 steps, a bit more systematic including “fake it till you feel it”. got to love it